I check the news every few hours and continue to see reports on the devistation in Haiti following last week's catastrophic earthquake. I see the destruction, I see the tears, the dead bodies, the survivors surviving. The sad truth is that we have seen these reports play out again and again as natural and manmade disasters have struck the world. But there is something different about what I see this time. I see people from all over the world coming to the aid of a country full of people who look like me, my grandfather, and my aunti n nim. I see NASCAR donating millions to help brown people in trouble. I see a white man overcome with grief at the news that another black child has died. I see the president of these United States say to Haiti "you will not be forsaken...you will not be forgotten". HAITI?!?!?!
Once upon a time not so long ago it would have been politically correct to say Fuck Haiti. Now I look at the number of donations from ordinary Americans to this impoverished nation hit tens of millions of dollars and I ask myself... Is it possible that this is becoming a kinder gentler nation? It is possible that we are moving towards becoming a nation where a black man can get help for himself and his family when they are in need just because they are human beings and in need? Could it be that this country is beginning to see black people as people? Even Haitians????
Of course you still have the glutonous porcine carnivores who are not satisfied with their millions of dollars and their celebrity status among the barbaric, myopic hate junkies who hang on their every word and who will not be satisfied until they have THEIR America back. You know the ones who spew their acrimonious rhetoric and lament about the wonderful days of old when niggers knew there places and there was nothing that a white man wasn't entitled to on the strength of being white and male. But I don't concern myself with them so much. They themselves know better than anyone else that they are a dying breed and their reign of terror and ferocious malevolence will soon end. In my opinion the only real point to their gnashing of teeth and obtrusive anguish is so that the record of American history will show that they went out kicking and screaming.
So let the record show that the Rush Limbaughs, Glen Becks, Bill O'Reillys, Pat Buchanans and Joe Wilsons of the world were opposed to the kinder gentler nation that appears to be emerging despite this country's troubled past and history of injustice. Let it state that they fought hard to perserve hatred and bigotry. Let it state that they dedicated their lives to hate mongering and reprehensible self righteousness. And 100 years from now they will be remembered. Not fondly, not with high esteem, but remembered non the less. And so it is. And so it will be.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I TOO am America
That's right. I too am America. With my single mom, hip-hop loving, nappy hair having, black man adoring azz. I too am America. I don't know why but sometimes I let it blow my mind that some people still don't get that this thing is happening. It's underway. The power structure that we used to allow to dictate for us what we like, what we feel, what is beautiful and what is true is falling. Individuals have access to more information and more quickly than at any other time in history . Now that a person can connect with the entire world from his or her own living room and find out the truth for themselves(or at least a different version of the truth) the strong hold that these preditors had on our mind is ending.
With that said I wonder if it surprises you when I say that I too am America. For so long the prevailing idea or what it was to be a real American or better yet All American meant that you looked a paricular way and that you lived a paricular way. Well I am certain that I do not look like that once popular notion of what an American looks like but I assure you that I too am American. I too represent America. In the America that I live in I see a multiplicity of races, features, attitudes and cultures. I see Asian people and Latin people and Black people and White people. And ever increasingly I see people that are not so easy to categorize. I see evidence of the races that have lived together in America for so many years coming together. Procreating and combining cultures. I see that America. I see a flag waving rebel screaming "Go Back To Africa" and yes he too is America. We all are.
And to my brothers, sisters, associates and critics who would say that I am foolish to call myself American being that I am the descedant of kidnap victims and therefore this is not my home. I say you are correct in that I am far away from my ancestral birthplace, but I was born, raised, educated, loved, lied to, and live in America. I know of no other place to go to and call my home. I realize that this is due to the tradgedy of the African Holocaust. However the fact remains that I live in America, my story is an American story, my parents and child were born in America, I have suffered with and because of America. I am an American. I too am America.
All Hail The Commander in Chief ~ God Bless The First Family
With that said I wonder if it surprises you when I say that I too am America. For so long the prevailing idea or what it was to be a real American or better yet All American meant that you looked a paricular way and that you lived a paricular way. Well I am certain that I do not look like that once popular notion of what an American looks like but I assure you that I too am American. I too represent America. In the America that I live in I see a multiplicity of races, features, attitudes and cultures. I see Asian people and Latin people and Black people and White people. And ever increasingly I see people that are not so easy to categorize. I see evidence of the races that have lived together in America for so many years coming together. Procreating and combining cultures. I see that America. I see a flag waving rebel screaming "Go Back To Africa" and yes he too is America. We all are.
And to my brothers, sisters, associates and critics who would say that I am foolish to call myself American being that I am the descedant of kidnap victims and therefore this is not my home. I say you are correct in that I am far away from my ancestral birthplace, but I was born, raised, educated, loved, lied to, and live in America. I know of no other place to go to and call my home. I realize that this is due to the tradgedy of the African Holocaust. However the fact remains that I live in America, my story is an American story, my parents and child were born in America, I have suffered with and because of America. I am an American. I too am America.
All Hail The Commander in Chief ~ God Bless The First Family
Sunday, February 1, 2009
A Gentle Reminder
Driving to the dentist office the other day I was listeneing to the Yolanda Adams Morning Show as she was signing off. In her parting words she said "Hug somebody today, it may be the only hug they receive." As I thought about Yolanda's instructions I said to myself perhaps I would hug someone later in the day because I knew that I wouldn't be hugging anybody at the dentist office. About 30 minutes later I almost became overwhelmed when the hygienist that I met 7 minutes ago hugged me.
She and I were discussing my dental insurance which lead to me explaning some things to her about this transitional time that I am in regarding my job. At that point she began to speak to me and my circumstances and told me that God has something great for me. She said that I would be making more money in my next occupation than I made working for the company I just left. She said I was young and smart and that God had plans for me that I may not understand but that would work to my benefit. The whole conversation developed so organically. I know it was the presence of God moving in the room.
Her name is Patricia and I doubt if I will ever forget her. And when she hugged me I felt God telling me "Bless your heart girl...you don't know nothing". Like He was laughing at me for making my bold statement about what I knew was not going to happen at the dentist office. My father reminded me that He was in charge of all I see and all I don't see. He also took that time to remind me that I was wrapped in His loving arms and that I was taken care of. God reminded me that it was already alright.
She and I were discussing my dental insurance which lead to me explaning some things to her about this transitional time that I am in regarding my job. At that point she began to speak to me and my circumstances and told me that God has something great for me. She said that I would be making more money in my next occupation than I made working for the company I just left. She said I was young and smart and that God had plans for me that I may not understand but that would work to my benefit. The whole conversation developed so organically. I know it was the presence of God moving in the room.
Her name is Patricia and I doubt if I will ever forget her. And when she hugged me I felt God telling me "Bless your heart girl...you don't know nothing". Like He was laughing at me for making my bold statement about what I knew was not going to happen at the dentist office. My father reminded me that He was in charge of all I see and all I don't see. He also took that time to remind me that I was wrapped in His loving arms and that I was taken care of. God reminded me that it was already alright.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Why Black Girls Can't Go In The Pool
Recently I decided to cut the relaxer out of my hair and start wearing my hair in it's natural state. Now that I have been wearing it natural for about 2 months it has dawned on me that for the majority of my 40 years I have always worn my hair straightened out in one way or another. When I was a little girl my mother would press my hair with a straightening comb. Occasionally in the summer she would allow me to get my hair braided. But I could only wear it braided in the summner and never EVER to church. It was like wearing my hair "too natural looking" or perhaps worst of all "too African looking" to church was some sort of sacrilege. (Now dealing with that statement alone would take a year's worth of blogs to begin to address)
What I have realized is that I have never known what my hair feels and looks like in it's natural state. Even when I have cut the relaxer out in the past I have always put a texturizer in it within a few weeks. It's amazing what I have learned about my own hair since going chemical free. Turns out I like the way my hair looks and feels in this state. I used to think my hair had two textures, got a perm and need a perm. The tiny little curls that I used to call my need a perm hair (aka new growth) I now call my hair doing what it do. It took me 40 years to realize that I actually prefer my hair the way it grows out of my scalp. I like the tiny little curls and I even like the fuzzy peices on top of the tiny curls.
And one of the best parts about it is I don't have to be afraid of water anymore. Our burning drive to conform to western standards of beauty has forced black women to hide and run in horror at the thought of moisture touching their hair. Hmmmmm....something bout that don't sound quite right to me.
Black women are forced to be afraid of, run from, and treat water like the enemy. How crazy is that? We have to make sure that the shower cap is tight enough so we don't get any water on our hair in the shower. Some of us who prefer showers choose to take baths just to be on the "safe side". More important to not mess up your perm that to clean your body in the way that feels best to you. If it's raining outside then there is a strong possibility that we just won't be going out. Better to sit in the house with straight hair than to go out into the world and risk getting it wet. Black women have been known to refuse to have sex with their men, sleep sitting up, and stay off the dance floor when their favorite song comes on all out of all out of a strong dedication to the assimilation. Stronger than the need to satisfy her man, stronger than the need for a comfortable sleep, stronger than the need to break it down to her favorite song is her need to have straight hair. Some women don't even care if their hair is healthy, as long as it's stright.
And please PLEASE don't even mention getting in the pool. You may have noticed us, sitting on the side of the pool with our feet in the water. Thinking "Nobody better NOT splash any water on me and get my hair wet". I mean afterall it would take the rest of the night to do it all over again if it gets wet.
Meanwhile everyone else is in the pool swimming laughing splashing and having a grand old time. "O Well. Maybe I didn't get the excercise and exhilaration that everyone else did...but at least my hair still looks cute."
It breaks my heart every time I take my nieces to the beach or the pool and the whole issue of them getting their hair wet has to be a major part of the planning. It is not like this for any other segment of the population. Only us. We are the only ones who have been singled out for this particular facet of the tragedy that is our appointed charge to conform to white culture. This "burden" is ours to bear alone.
But wait! Oh yeah that's right. This is a burden that we choose to bear.When I wear my hair in it's natural state I can take a shower with no shower cap. I can walk in the rain and feel the drops on my face and head. And I can jump in the pool and I can swim, and float and splash and laugh witnout a thought of having to spend the hours following my time in the pool forcing my hair back into submission. Forcing it to look like someone else's hair.
I think the thing that I love most about my natural hair is how resilient it is. The way month after month and year after year through pressing, texturizing and relaxing it would come back time and time again. All nappy and new asking for another chance to be seen. I love this about my hair. The fact that eventhough I tried to force it to be something it was not...it continued to revert back to it's natural state. When I let my hair be it's own true self I am free to be mine.
What I have realized is that I have never known what my hair feels and looks like in it's natural state. Even when I have cut the relaxer out in the past I have always put a texturizer in it within a few weeks. It's amazing what I have learned about my own hair since going chemical free. Turns out I like the way my hair looks and feels in this state. I used to think my hair had two textures, got a perm and need a perm. The tiny little curls that I used to call my need a perm hair (aka new growth) I now call my hair doing what it do. It took me 40 years to realize that I actually prefer my hair the way it grows out of my scalp. I like the tiny little curls and I even like the fuzzy peices on top of the tiny curls.
And one of the best parts about it is I don't have to be afraid of water anymore. Our burning drive to conform to western standards of beauty has forced black women to hide and run in horror at the thought of moisture touching their hair. Hmmmmm....something bout that don't sound quite right to me.
Black women are forced to be afraid of, run from, and treat water like the enemy. How crazy is that? We have to make sure that the shower cap is tight enough so we don't get any water on our hair in the shower. Some of us who prefer showers choose to take baths just to be on the "safe side". More important to not mess up your perm that to clean your body in the way that feels best to you. If it's raining outside then there is a strong possibility that we just won't be going out. Better to sit in the house with straight hair than to go out into the world and risk getting it wet. Black women have been known to refuse to have sex with their men, sleep sitting up, and stay off the dance floor when their favorite song comes on all out of all out of a strong dedication to the assimilation. Stronger than the need to satisfy her man, stronger than the need for a comfortable sleep, stronger than the need to break it down to her favorite song is her need to have straight hair. Some women don't even care if their hair is healthy, as long as it's stright.
And please PLEASE don't even mention getting in the pool. You may have noticed us, sitting on the side of the pool with our feet in the water. Thinking "Nobody better NOT splash any water on me and get my hair wet". I mean afterall it would take the rest of the night to do it all over again if it gets wet.
Meanwhile everyone else is in the pool swimming laughing splashing and having a grand old time. "O Well. Maybe I didn't get the excercise and exhilaration that everyone else did...but at least my hair still looks cute."
It breaks my heart every time I take my nieces to the beach or the pool and the whole issue of them getting their hair wet has to be a major part of the planning. It is not like this for any other segment of the population. Only us. We are the only ones who have been singled out for this particular facet of the tragedy that is our appointed charge to conform to white culture. This "burden" is ours to bear alone.
But wait! Oh yeah that's right. This is a burden that we choose to bear.When I wear my hair in it's natural state I can take a shower with no shower cap. I can walk in the rain and feel the drops on my face and head. And I can jump in the pool and I can swim, and float and splash and laugh witnout a thought of having to spend the hours following my time in the pool forcing my hair back into submission. Forcing it to look like someone else's hair.
I think the thing that I love most about my natural hair is how resilient it is. The way month after month and year after year through pressing, texturizing and relaxing it would come back time and time again. All nappy and new asking for another chance to be seen. I love this about my hair. The fact that eventhough I tried to force it to be something it was not...it continued to revert back to it's natural state. When I let my hair be it's own true self I am free to be mine.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Morning Prayer
Dearest Creator,
Thank You for this life. Thank You for my talents and blessings. Thank You for my friends and family. Thank You for my experiences. Thank You for this day. This morning. This moment. I am Your humble servant Lord. Take me and mold me and do with me what You will. I adore You God. With You and I am everything. Without You I do not exist.
Thank You for my past, my ancestors, and my future generations. Thank You for the blood coursing through my veins. Thank You for being infinitely perfect again and again with the rising of each day's sun. Thank You for counting me worthy to bask in Your glory. To sit at Your table. To seek Your counsel. You are forever and ever my Almighty God. You will forever be.
Thank You for this life. Thank You for my talents and blessings. Thank You for my friends and family. Thank You for my experiences. Thank You for this day. This morning. This moment. I am Your humble servant Lord. Take me and mold me and do with me what You will. I adore You God. With You and I am everything. Without You I do not exist.
Thank You for my past, my ancestors, and my future generations. Thank You for the blood coursing through my veins. Thank You for being infinitely perfect again and again with the rising of each day's sun. Thank You for counting me worthy to bask in Your glory. To sit at Your table. To seek Your counsel. You are forever and ever my Almighty God. You will forever be.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Circle of Life
A wise man once told me that oft times people mistakenly think of life as a staircase and as we go through life, have achievements and accomplish certain things we climb higher and higher. But the fact is that life is much more like a circle. And sometimes we are at the top of that circle and sometimes we are at the bottom. With this analogy it is easy to see that when you are at the top of the circle the day will come around again that you will be at the bottom. And likewise when you are at the bottom you will surely be back on top.
The real question is, is what do we learn as we go througth the circle or cycles. If we allow ourselves to see it for what it is we can avoid getting too overwhelmed or depressed when we are at the bottom. If we reflect on our lives I'm sure that most of us will notice a pattern that sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. With each down time we can grow and develop positive coping mechanisms as we await our newest high for it is sure to come.
Recently I have undergone some pretty significant changes in my life and about a month ago I was feeling about as down/at the bottom of my circle as I have ever been. But even at my lowest point I knew to call on my Creator because my life was in His hands. So I did. And he comforted me while I cried, and lamented and sometimes even got downright hysterical. Through it all there was this undercurrent of calmness. Through it all, even when I was sobbing I knew that somehow everything would be alright. I am not at the top of my circle just yet but I am happy to report that I am now on the upswing. The funny part is that nothing has really changed about my situation and I am very uncertain about what the future holds for me. All I know is that God has never failed me yet and I can't think of one reason that he would start now.
So in this posting I would like to encourage anyone whose eyes fall on these words to just keep on moving. Just keep on knowing that you are protected and loved and that no matter where you are on this day in your circle you will survive. If you are at the bottom the top is on it's way. If you are at the top just know that you will be down again some day but the good news is that if you know that the top is coming around again it will make the bottom that much easier to deal with. Just go through it and learn your lessons and keep it moving. Remembering to praise and thank your Creator through it all. He wants to know that you trust in him. He is soooo that way :-)
The real question is, is what do we learn as we go througth the circle or cycles. If we allow ourselves to see it for what it is we can avoid getting too overwhelmed or depressed when we are at the bottom. If we reflect on our lives I'm sure that most of us will notice a pattern that sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. With each down time we can grow and develop positive coping mechanisms as we await our newest high for it is sure to come.
Recently I have undergone some pretty significant changes in my life and about a month ago I was feeling about as down/at the bottom of my circle as I have ever been. But even at my lowest point I knew to call on my Creator because my life was in His hands. So I did. And he comforted me while I cried, and lamented and sometimes even got downright hysterical. Through it all there was this undercurrent of calmness. Through it all, even when I was sobbing I knew that somehow everything would be alright. I am not at the top of my circle just yet but I am happy to report that I am now on the upswing. The funny part is that nothing has really changed about my situation and I am very uncertain about what the future holds for me. All I know is that God has never failed me yet and I can't think of one reason that he would start now.
So in this posting I would like to encourage anyone whose eyes fall on these words to just keep on moving. Just keep on knowing that you are protected and loved and that no matter where you are on this day in your circle you will survive. If you are at the bottom the top is on it's way. If you are at the top just know that you will be down again some day but the good news is that if you know that the top is coming around again it will make the bottom that much easier to deal with. Just go through it and learn your lessons and keep it moving. Remembering to praise and thank your Creator through it all. He wants to know that you trust in him. He is soooo that way :-)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Lean Not To Thy Own Understanding
Human beings have a habit of trying to make sense of the things that happen in this world. The things that don't match with our idea of what the world is or what our own lives are. We are so quick to think we’ve figured out the formula. If I do this and this and this I will acquire things that will make me happy. If I do this and this and this people will love and respect me. And when things don’t go as we’ve planned, according the formula that we were so sure that we figured out we spend time asking ourselves WHY?
Perhaps it’s because we still don’t fully submit ourselves to the fact that God and God alone is in charge of this universe. This world. The best thing that we can do is seek Him out and get in sync with Him and His will. The things that our minds can conceive of based on what we have seen with our eyes and heard with our ears are so minuscule in the vastness of what the Creator is capable of. Sometimes I wonder why it’s so easy for us to forget how vast the universe is and how small we are comparatively. There is so much that we don’t know about the things we do know about why do we think we know anything about the things we don’t know about.
These days I find myself reminding myself that God has a much better handle on this thing than I do. So I pray that His will be done as a way to remind myself of that fact. I will remind myself that I am His child and I will know that I am already protected. I will know that my path is laid out for me and that my future is secure. My child’s future and his children’s future as well. I will be still and know.
Perhaps it’s because we still don’t fully submit ourselves to the fact that God and God alone is in charge of this universe. This world. The best thing that we can do is seek Him out and get in sync with Him and His will. The things that our minds can conceive of based on what we have seen with our eyes and heard with our ears are so minuscule in the vastness of what the Creator is capable of. Sometimes I wonder why it’s so easy for us to forget how vast the universe is and how small we are comparatively. There is so much that we don’t know about the things we do know about why do we think we know anything about the things we don’t know about.
These days I find myself reminding myself that God has a much better handle on this thing than I do. So I pray that His will be done as a way to remind myself of that fact. I will remind myself that I am His child and I will know that I am already protected. I will know that my path is laid out for me and that my future is secure. My child’s future and his children’s future as well. I will be still and know.
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